A virtual move for the fairy…

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What a year 2015 has been. I got a divorce and found new love and family.

I moved from Warm World to Forest World.

I closed my online school of ten years and created creative classes over at my new site instead (love making the Spooky Intuitive class).

I began focusing on books and creating new curriculum that included animated little videos.

I have grappled with change and transition and held on tight to what I should have let go (Facebook biz pages still vex me).

It was a big decision closing the school, but as one dear friend pointed out, I was a pioneer in this work. I was one of the first who started an online school for more woo-woo work (psychic/healing and animal communication classes). When I started, I didn’t care if I looked odd or strange, or they would burn crosses in my front yard. I had some ideas I wanted to share and I went with it. The school grew with interest and I loved designing and writing the curriculum, and especially working with and coaching students directly. I watched them soar with new tools and knowledge, and many, opened up to their creativity like little swans.

Fast forward ten years later and I was getting antsy. I went to school for Education Technology/Design and learned how to create multi-media to add to my lessons. It was the creating lessons and writing that I was digging, since at heart, I am a creator. I think somewhere along the the way, I became more of a counselor then a teacher. Here I was a writer who wanted to share what I have learned being a sensitive to help others, when others were looking to me to provide answers only a therapist could provide. I was frustrated– after all, I’m a creator and a storyteller, not a counselor (yes, I know, INFJs are natural counselors). Also, those ten years later and I was no longer the pioneer. There were now tons of books on being a sensitive, and even more online schools opening, many with fancy webinars (to be honest, I hate fancy webinars. I’m no guru). It made it clear to me I had to make a decision at that point, especially when the business was no longer supporting me. I was helping many others, but I wasn’t getting back what I needed to survive, and I seriously needed to look at this. So I closed the school and focused on my new website.

I started this blog in August 2007 and I wrote about cool psychic experiences I was having hoping to help others. I was opening up to my abilities and senses, and since then, they are all now more integrated within me. With a firm foundation to my spirituality now planted, I could focus back to myself and my original path that was always one big line. I always made things that taught. My first books I illustrated always carried a message (I was heavily influenced by Aesop’s Fables). My path started as an art teacher and an artist, and then illustrating activity and educational books. It continued when I was a college teacher (I loved that!) and of course, creating all the classes for Fairy Online School. When I went for my Grad certificate I fell in love with making videos and transmedia. You could tell a story that helped and teached others on a multi-platform, including phone apps! I will continue to head in that direction, and I am sure I will make many more books!

So, instead of having two sites, I will merge all into one with what I will be focusing on now and has the best to offer all of you. I will be over here and will include Sensitive Tuesdays for the blog there for my Sensitive readers. That’s where I will share the upcoming Turtle Shell book, book 2 in the series, and the other books I will be creating. So be sure to follow the blog over there. And if you are interested in getting in touch with your intuition through your creativity, consider signing up for one of the classes I will be offering there.

With love and appreciation for your support throughout the years,

Ronni

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The Right Help and Avoiding Confusion for the Sensitive

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I am seriously confused.

It’s partly from the allergens that are flying around in my house. My cooler–it’s an Arizona thing that wets the dry air while cooling the environment–hasn’t been cleaned in at least five years I’ve been here so it’s making my head really foggy every time it spits out air with gunk. So I called up my landlords and they immediately responded because they are fabulous. At first, they thought they would have to brainstorm how to clean out this moldy cooler, so I thought I would have to wait awhile, sneezing. But then I got a call from them that an expert would be coming to clean out the ducts and make my life easier to breathe. This expert specializes in cleaning out coolers of allergens. It was the perfect solution and the landlords knew where to go for help.

That experience lit a lightbulb up in my head. I have always given myself a hard time for not succeeding at times in business matters and that’s because I would go for help in the wrong places. I wouldn’t have the right answers. I would flounder about and get lost in shame. After all, I am a Capricorn and we are supposed to be good at everything. (ha ha) But what if it’s not the right help?

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A couple of times lately I have seen in action just the right piece show up for friends that they needed, but I have also seen in my life the opposite, where the wrong help creates more confusion.

I remember graduating from the Grad School program and having pretty much having vague help finding a job. I was told my skills and resume were fabulous and would have no problem finding something, but where/how wasn’t clear, except to look at a list of job search places to tackle. When what you do is so out of the box it is difficult to have a clear map. I always joke about wishing I was an accountant because the path is so clearcut. I’d go to school for a clear program, find jobs in accountant offices, and DONE. Vague help is the worst because it doesn’t provide you with specific steps. It’s almost like giving you directions to a house by saying, “Yeah, it’s somewhere over there.” Where? To the right of there or the left of there?

I have seen in others what happens when they have the wrong help. Trying to create something they bring in the wrong person who can’t really solve their particular problem and they make a bigger mess.

So what is the right help? First, I need to get very clear what is needed. That isn’t always easy. Often you are so overloaded that there are too many pieces floating around your head. It’s hard to pinpoint what the problem is or what you are needing. You know you need help with being healthy, but does that look like going on a diet? Starting a workout program? Going to do a doctor? What is the specific issue? I think I run into having too broad a problem. You can relate? And then overwhelm happens because there’s too much to tackle at once, and as a sensitive, I am already overloaded with stimuli and information ALL THE TIME.

So I write down very specifically what the issue is. The cooler was easy. It’s concrete. I know when the cooler turns on I sneeze, so that thing must be dirty. I then need to find someone who can clean out a dirty cooler. But what about more complicated questions like, how do I bring in more money? Or how do I bring in more peace to the household? Etc. etc. Those questions are trickier.

I am learning…

Sometimes having the right help is about lightening the load. You can’t do it all. (My Capricorn inner self just cringed.) You can’t be everything to everybody, you need to bring in assistance. Find what solves that particular problem– be very specific, research, ask around, and zero in on that one thing at one time to avoid overwhelm.

Until next time,

designingfairysig

This Week’s Cards are a Movie!

clearcutspreadthecardsThis week’s Healing Fairy Alphabet cards and message is in a movie! Oooooh. Let me know how you feel about this format. I made the video in my Designing Fairy Cinema studio. It’s over here.

The Full Sail Shift and New Store!

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I’ve been learning a great deal about valuing what I do and offer. I’m involved in a big shift. Years ago, when I went to Grad School I experienced a new way of looking at things. When I was there I saw myself in a different light. I expanded. (Well, I did gain five pounds while going there but that is another story.) When I say I expanded, I meant I was in my BIGNESS as biz coach Fabeku lovingly calls it. I was in my bigger soul self. Before where I overlooked my intelligence, here it was mirrored back to me. My talents were clear. My direction picture perfect. But most importantly, I felt HOPEFUL, OUT OF THE BOX THINKING self, anything is possible, excited. My picture of myself changed. Like those popular memes going around Facebook, the tiny cat saw the lion. After I graduated I took a fun job that I really enjoyed creating original, creative marketing but I stayed a bit small.

My Full Sail Shift is upon me again. I being asked to think bigger and to truly value what I do, and the challenge to stay out of smallness even though there isn’t a FULL SAIL to mirror that back to me. I just need to remember how that felt. (And lean on my friends to remind me).

Looking through my old posts, I was struck how often I have written about this topic here. I am guessing a repeat lesson for me! Duh Ronni! Here are a few of my past posts that also cover this topic nicely.

Seeing the value

Why don’t you do this for free

Compromise and guidance

Do you teach others to treat you like crap?

Playing Small

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My Healing Fairy Alphabet site is coming along nicely with my new attached store for my artwork and goodies growing nicely too. Go visit and shop over here. You can preorder the new TWIGS book too. There’s a party happening over there! Can you feel it?

So you are in a transition

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I write this as I adjust to stronger glasses I usually wear for driving only. My other glasses had “scratch guard” that rubbed right off. There are no coincidences. I was fighting change, but my soul was pushing me into bigger vision.

You might feel stuck in the middle of things that are dying and things that are being born.

You’re grounding underfoot is changing. It’s like a mini earthquake. Hold on tight.

You can taste the sweetness of glorious new beginnings, and the bitter taste of endings.

There’s anxiety as one door is closing, and the other door isn’t quite open yet, and you can’t find that door anywhere.

Breathe.

This isn’t a moment for being harder on yourself. Or feeling like a failure. It’s only change, and usually necessary change at that. It’s GROWTH, my Dear.

There is no map.

Panic.

Most of the biggest transitions in my life I have lived through somehow. Some I didn’t even see coming. But to a creative person being stagnant is worst then no change. That’s boring. There’s no material there to work with.

Take another breath.

You’re being guided even though it doesn’t feel that way. Those tiny whispers? That gut feeling? Those longings that keep punching at your belly? YOU know what to do, at least the next tiny step, even if it’s that one breath.

And what about all that stretching you are feeling? Yes, your legs feel longer, and your voice may be changing into a deeper tone. Just see it as a second or third or fourth puberty. That turned out okay and you weren’t sure then.

Ask yourself, “What do I REALLY want to do?” 

You have what it takes. You will have what you need. There’s help even though you aren’t sure.

Much love and see you on the other side of this.

designingfairysig

 

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ACTIVITY TO INTEGRATE: Draw a map where you have been and where you want to go so you can see visually the big picture of the transition you are in. That drawn map might give you additional clarity.

Why don’t you do this for free?

giveforfreeI’ve had the flu thing that has been going around in Arizona. It starts out strong and then hangs on for a long time. This virus is interesting. It reaches for your sensitive area, so if you have weak lungs, it latches on with a chronic cough. If you are like me and have wimpy sinuses, it will be hang out there for awhile. I still sound nasal. But being sick has been a big wake-up call for me. It first hit my back, and all I could find myself saying was how so many areas of my life didn’t “have my back.” I didn’t feel financially supported and that nasty flu attacked my “sensitive”  imbalance.

In the midst of being sick and down for the count, I had a blog reader approach me with a question needing advice. When her answer would be easily addressed by reading a chapter in my book, or a few blog posts here already written, and also covered completely in a lesson in my one class, I directed her to all those areas. I was immediately blasted for not being “spiritual enough,” and “why didn’t I offer all my advice free,” and for trying to sell classes and books. She didn’t offer to pay for a consultation or a private lesson.

Well, the interesting part was, here I was sick as a dog, and not paid for teaching during Spring Break, and my business didn’t have my back. I was in pure panic, because, face it, if neither is producing money, I am screwed. Capital One and APS don’t give a hoot if I didn’t receive a check yet or there’s no sign-ups.

Early in my teaching career, I’ve had similar experiences. I was told I should give free classes, free readings, free help all because I work in a spiritual field. What it came down was a lack of valuing. I have never gone to a dentist and expected free cavity filling. I have never gone to the mechanic, expecting free car repair. And my doctor who went for years to medical school has to charge me to keep his office going and pay back his student loans. What I have learned and trained in has taking me years and years of experience and time also. Is this because our role models like Mother Teresa and even Jesus ran around in minimal clothing and didn’t ask for anything?

I talked to a number of friends working in the spiritual field in some way, and all have expressed the same complaints and experiences…and all were struggling with money. Did we collectively not value our own gifts and what we had to offer because of our spiritual teachings saying that was bad? Or because we were in the spiritual field, we felt those gifts offered were less then? Was that the deeper problem here?

As an artist, I and other artists have all experienced people liking our work but not offering to buy anything. I have often been approached in my twenty plus years experience to illustrate an entire children’s book for free. That always makes me laugh.

The ironic part of this woman accusing me of not being spiritual enough by offering paid options to answer her question, was I have a huge problem with giving away so much for free. All. the. time. I share free art on Instagram. A ton of blog posts that go back five years or more. Free excerpts. Free quotes. Free Pinterest posts. Free stories. And I used to give extensive advice for free for years and years until I realized I was screwing myself.

If I wasn’t listening enough to the signs, I had one woman who was repeatedly calling me for advice on how to create books, websites, etc. but didn’t pay me for a consult. What was the worst was that she kept remarking how she could hire someone else to do the work I could do while talking to me on the phone. Yup, this was a ongoing pattern.

All these teachers showing up, I need to really look at this. I have a huge habit of giving so much without checking on my own needs. It was like I was expected to give out so much selflessly to others, without having those needs matter at all, and you know what? That’s a lack of respect. I have done this pattern more times then I can count. And then someone I love told me the other day, “There needs to be an equal balance.” (and respect)

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Okay, I get it. I really get it. I don’t need another teacher to arrive to show me, whether the teacher is the flu or a person or a situation. I need to value my information, knowledge, talents, gifts, and time. I love sharing but I can only give out and share if there is an equal balance, translated into sales coming back in or my time paid for, otherwise, I can’t give or share anymore. Then I have to do something else, which is what is probably about to happen. It doesn’t work, unless I think it is spiritual to live in a tent with my dogs, give away everything for free, and count on the kindness of strangers to feed us. I honestly don’t think the basset hound would go for it.