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Being sensitive and people overload

30 Oct

overloadpic

I haven’t blogged for awhile and I apologize, dear readers. I’ve been busy with Designing Fairy Cinema and writing my next book; not to mention adjusting to Giant Puppy’s needs. (Okay, I just mentioned it.) Actually, she’s been really good.

I wanted to write about overwhelm, which is one of the biggest issues sensitive folks encounter. I thought, why not write about the topic when I’m feeling the least overwhelmed? I’ve pretty much had gotten so used to that frantic state I miss the adrenaline rush. Back last year and half of this year I was dealing with taking care of an incontinent elderly beagle, Grad School classes, my business, and a part time job. I was stuck in the fast lane to get everything done and pretty much lived on sugar to keep my natural humming bird energy up. I loved the classes and I miss Sarah, but I’m starting to adjust to enjoy the calm, natural energy.

It’s easy to overwhelm when you are sensitive. We take in so much information at once at a deep level that it’s easy to tip that balance in the red. And if you are in a vulnerable space emotionally, it’s really easy to blow your fuse.

I remember a few years back going to an outdoor concert with a friend. I took one look at the huge crowded line in front of me and almost blew a gasket right there. My breathing quickened, and I forgot about my feet. The line was moving at a caterpillar pace to the ticket booth. We weren’t even in the stadium and I could feel panic rising. We made it in and there were lines of chairs on the lawn in front of the stage and bleachers everywhere. Thank goodness the stadium was outside otherwise I’d have felt trapped.

I asked my friend if we could sit in an aisle so I wasn’t sandwiched in and he didn’t understand and ignored my request.  I needed some air  and psychic space around me. More and more people took the seats surrounding us. I couldn’t breathe. What made things worse, was the performer wasn’t on time! So the waiting went on and on with me stuck like a sardine. This was too many damn people! All this energy around me. I could feel hopes, dreams, thoughts, issues. Yeah, sure I put up some protection, visualized a couple bubbles. But that was a lot of people.  I could even shame myself for not being able to stand firm against all these energies. Yeah, that’s realistic.

Once the concert finally started I was in better shape. Focusing on something fun really blocks out the noise. I sang, I tried to dance in my chair, but I still felt boxed in.

And then even my friend started to crowd me. My friend wanted to go in the casino afterwards. Hey, why not? Let’s see if Ronni can blow a fuse in public and explode in little pieces all over the flashing little light machines. Thank goodness for my body. I got a migraine that tried to push out all those visiting energies. I had to go home. I tried to explain, but I wasn’t being heard, so I stormed out.

grrr

Is there something wrong with me for not enjoying that? Shouldn’t I toughen up? Heck no! Part of being deliciously sensitive, is knowing yourself. If you were allergic to peanuts, would you scream and tell yourself that you needed to toughen up? No! You’d frickin’ avoid those peanuts at all costs. If I were put into that situation again, I’d do a few self care things:

  • I’d sit in aisle seat. Maybe even find an area that had lots of space around it. I’d try to make those needs met.
  • I’d allow myself to take lots of breaks where there weren’t so many people. Maybe take a few bathroom breaks. Take a breather outside the stadium if necessary.
  • I’d find a new friend to go with. Sorry, but my friends need to know me and listen to what I need to do for self care, whatever that’s about or is.
  • I’d bring ear plugs. I’d still hear the music but it would drown out the high noise.
  • I did take flower essences at the time but I think I’d need some really strong ones for protection and calm. Probably grab for Rescue Remedy.
  • It would be okay to “small” it down. What does that mean? It’s like that pie in my freezer right now. I could have some of it. I don’t have to eat the whole thing at once. I could watch half the concert if I wanted, which would be enough to enjoy, but not too much to overwhelm.

Overload happens not just in crowded situations. I can feel crowded by other people. If I have a lot of demands coming at me, I will try to please everyone around me, make them happy, do a good job, and then I can overload on that pushing energy. I will take on way more than I should.

I remember teaching book illustrating with a fellow artist at a Montessori school. The kids were so lovely, creative and open-eyed. I fell in love with them. But those teacher hours are slightly insane. There was rarely a break away from the energies of these kids who each individually demanded a great deal of attention, which I was trying to give. I hadn’t learned at that point how to know my limits and regulate my energy. I would come home at the end of the day either bursting into tears or having signs of physical overwhelm.

Now keep in mind, being sensitive doesn’t mean I can’t handle a lot or am “delicate.” That’s super important to point out. Honey, I’m stronger than most people I know. Ask my closest friends.  The amount of stuff I can handle emotionally far outweighs my physical sensitivity.

There’s nothing wrong with us. No, we shouldn’t be living in bubbles. We are what we are. We’ve got that fine-tuned nervous system brilliant for some things (and amazing gifts that come with that sensitivity, that you will notice the non-sensitive flock to for answers) but it just comes with some special care  instructions.

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A little note about upcoming classes. I will only be offering the core classes this November. The Empath Skills class now comes with a little yummy twist (a mini reading). Check out and sign up for it here. If you want to be informed about the upcoming books in the Sensitive series, do subscribe to this site (sign-up found in the right sidebar).

The WTF Flower Essences

1 Nov

The last two weeks have been crazy and emotional and well, WTF days. I grew up in New Jersey and have spent many days down the shore. Seeing boardwalks washed away and hearing family has no power has been adding to the crazy. Then there’s animal health issues and …you understand. You are going through the same crazy and wild stuff right now. I am so grateful for flower essences right now and some I’m guzzling! So, here’s

The top 5 WTF days essences I recommend

  1. SALVIA. Love this AZ flower that is emotionally calming and stabilizing during big upsets and stressful events.
  2. BACH REMEDIES make RESCUE REMEDY and STAR OF BETHLEHEM. RESCUE REMEDY is the cure-all for fear, panic and emotional overload. Bach Remedies are made with alcohol but you can dilute them more by putting a few drips into a glass of water.  STAR OF BETHLEHEM is wonderful for soothing out the effects of trauma.
  3. CALENDULA. Calendula is great for creating emotional detachment of boundaries, meaning, seeing what is yours and what is others. This has been crucial for me lately as I am picking up a ton of fear and upset and walking away with it. Us sensitive and compassionate folks can have our energy pulled everywhere we feel its needed, or  where we feel the pain of others. It’s okay right now to step back a little so we don’t get caught in the tornado, because then we can’t even be support for anyone else.
  4. ROSEMARY. One big thing I am noticing is that when I’m upset, I’m seriously ungrounded. I can’t think straight. Relate? The key is to feel firmly attached to the ground and strong. Rosemary is a super flower essence for pulling you back in, but gently.
  5. WHITE ROSE. It’s hard not to get caught up in the fear and upset and feel doom and gloom. We need to be raised up over the craziness just to function. That’s what WHITE ROSE likes to do.

Bach Remedies can be found in most health food stores. And the other flower essences I mentioned can be found in my Essence store here.

Ironic that Nature and the environment is the one acting out with the storms, and yet Flower Essences, straight from Nature, is what can help us heal and deal with those changes.

Lots of crankiness in the world–we need this

1 Aug

I am noticing a lot of crankiness and hot tempers in the world lately. It’s probably the unusual heat plaguing areas not used to it (we’re used to it) that is upsetting everyone’s Pitta. Last week I related to it, as I was hormonally challenged, so I do understand. But we do need more light to fill up that darkness. It’s too easy to get lost in it and then we think we are the dark parts! So, I bring you this:

Aren’t they pretty? Nothing cheers my soul like finding a pretty flower in my yard I didn’t know was there!

And this! Finding a face on the rock elder beneath my feet.

A stray butterfly flying by my head brings me such joy; such delicate beauty.

You see, lots of yuck can happen in your world. Believe me I KNOW. But there is a small little part in our heart that survives, and it notices the beauty and the wonder in the world. It loves the everyday magic in the passing butterfly. It’s like a good seed planted there, and everyday we are handed bad seeds to grow–through the media, other people, life.  I say,

NURTURE THE HELL OUT OF THOSE GOOD SEEDS!

Reminds me that one acorn can grow an oak tree. Just one!

(You will have to excuse me. I have just finished watching a marathon watching of MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO and I’m feeling quite nice.)

Growth takes time

25 Jun

Learning from Nature…

Sweet William and Zinnia seeds.

I check on the little babies every day.

getting there…

10 Things on the Internet That Send Me Backwards

14 Apr

It’s not that I’m too sensitive, I just have an excellent radar of what gives me energy and what takes it away. The problem is I need to listen to that radar as the built-in gift that it is!

My Radar showed me this week the 10 things that send me backwards into a radio dial of YUCK vs. YAY while on the Internet.

  1. Reading Local News. Here in Yavapai County we have the most BEEP’ed-up and corrupt system. It’s like the local agencies and judicial system are all high on crack making decisions, and spend most of their time trying to cover up how much they screw up. It’s soooo disillusioning and brings up feelings of hopelessness.
  2. High School news. I will say it if no one else does–why do I want to hear about folks who I went to high school with so many years later? Didn’t I escape being an insecure, clumsy teenager with superficial silliness? Does it even matter anymore? And the high school friends I want to be in touch with, I am already in touch with. Ugh. There’s also the “how is my life now?” thing that happens in your head. I think it’s called midlife crisis. Another Ugh that spirals down.
  3. Politics.The politicians right now are all playing mean head games and no one is honest and upfront. It’s an empath’s nightmare.
  4. Celebrity deaths. So, so sad. What a waste. Such heartbreak.
  5. Spam. I don’t want to grow my manhood two inches or pick up hot dates. If I get one more “Adriana wants to talk to you”, I will scream! Spammers, do me a favor. At least be better marketers. When you send these things out, find out if you are sending to a man or woman at least.
  6. Angelina Jolie news. I really don’t care Angelina is now engaged to Brad Pitt. Let’s face it. Beyond the personas, you know you pick up that they are pretty screwed up underneath. Besides, I don’t have a relationship with these people. They aren’t my people.
  7. The internet’s use of women as parts. I see that kind of stuff and I feel like my power is being stripped away from me until all that is left of me is how big my boobs are or how thin I am.
  8. High School. I know I said that one, but I think it really pushes a button. Because I’m feeling Yucky again. How many years ago was that for cripe’s sake?
  9. Photos of Abused Dogs. I know you want to arrange awareness for what happened to a poor, abused dog, but I’m visual. This image won’t leave me for days. Plus, I’m empathic and can pick up the dog’s pain. It’s like I’m getting abused seeing these photos. That doesn’t help your cause or the dog.
  10. Spiritual Quotes that don’t really say anything. I like my guidance to assist me or give me tools or a new awareness. Crap like, “Just be love,” doesn’t work for me. It’s just floaty and airy, and I think you are probably smoking something good vs. being enlightened.

Okay, now that you are annoyed and bothered with me, let’s go for the opposite.

The Antidote

  1. Real Support. I’ve really loved and enjoyed all the beautiful, inspiring and loving people I’ve met on Facebook and through my website. Where did you come from? Where were you most of my life? I am so grateful for your inner beauty and how much you have gifted me. Such lovely community!
  2. Photos of dogs doing cute things. I especially love stories about dogs who are heros and make a difference in their people’s lives. My heart just sings when I see these things.
  3. The right words. Don’t you just love when someone posts something that you so needed to hear that day? It’s pure guidance channeled through them.
  4. Good news. I love to hear good news about my friends and how life is being hopeful and positive for them. That helps me feel more hopeful for my own life.
  5. Authenticity. I would much rather hear someone being real, like saying, they feel like crap or are sad. Or they are frustrated because this manifesting thing isn’t working! I hate the false positive stuff.
  6. Inspiration. As an artist, I can be fed a simple picture and be inspired to make a slew of things. Watching one episode of Project Runway on Netflix has me redesigning my clothes and dressing the dog.
  7. Information that really helps. A lively discussion can lead me to the right supplement to give to Sarah, or whatever else I’m researching in the moment.
  8. Fairy anything. Like duh. Of course I’d like this. Show me a fairy house or a beautiful flower and I’m fed.
  9. Sometimes I like the Astrology or God Wants You to Know statuses, when they are spot on. Then they fall into the category of #3.
  10. Humor. Boy, I love how easily humor can lift my mood so quickly. I then take life so less seriously. One really good episode of Saturday Night Live on Hulu and I’m practically peeing in my pants.

It’s Spring and time for flower essences and fairies

1 Apr

It’s Spring! It’s Spring! And being outside for me in the forest or the garden is like food for me and my fellow “half-fairies.” Can you hear the call of Nature? My trees are getting their first little buds, the rose bushes are showing some life, and the birds are returning to my backyard trees. I can feel my spirit sigh in relief.

All this bursting of Nature is inspiring my fairy detective spirit. It’s not enough for me to just sit in Nature, I want to learn from it. I picked my first dandelions to make a flower essence the other day and was guided to make a few crystal essences according to their colors.

My first choice of flowers to buy at Home Depot was Pansies. Pansies are so wonderful for healing any sadness or heart issues. I grabbed the colors I was most attracted to — really striking white with purple insides. Their energy feels amazingly calming and wise. I am sure I will make an essence from them with permission. I need to go back there — Home Depot — problem is, I’m like a kid in a candy store there. I get that flower-high-thing going and it’s a little hard to leave. It feels like Home, so that store is correctly named. If I could, I’d probably go home with a hundred dollars worth of flowers. Hmmm…that’s an idea. Time to record my findings in my Repertory pages. Last year I made the purple pansy essence. This one feels somewhat different.

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If you love flowers like I do, and are a bit of a fairy detective filled with curiosity, my new class, Flower Essences FEC100 starts on Friday in Fairy Online School. Head on over to that page to sign up.

Next Tour Destination

1 Mar

Follow me as we pack our bags and head on over to Australia again! It’s the lovely and very wise Monique Williams and her blog and coaching site. Monique addresses Tip and Tool #49 and she does it beautifully.

http://moniquetwilliams.com/2012/03/01/a-tip-for-the-sensitive-just-walk-away/

Did you order a copy of your book yet? You can get the book right here from the Author!

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