The Right Help and Avoiding Confusion for the Sensitive


I am seriously confused.

It’s partly from the allergens that are flying around in my house. My cooler–it’s an Arizona thing that wets the dry air while cooling the environment–hasn’t been cleaned in at least five years I’ve been here so it’s making my head really foggy every time it spits out air with gunk. So I called up my landlords and they immediately responded because they are fabulous. At first, they thought they would have to brainstorm how to clean out this moldy cooler, so I thought I would have to wait awhile, sneezing. But then I got a call from them that an expert would be coming to clean out the ducts and make my life easier to breathe. This expert specializes in cleaning out coolers of allergens. It was the perfect solution and the landlords knew where to go for help.

That experience lit a lightbulb up in my head. I have always given myself a hard time for not succeeding at times in business matters and that’s because I would go for help in the wrong places. I wouldn’t have the right answers. I would flounder about and get lost in shame. After all, I am a Capricorn and we are supposed to be good at everything. (ha ha) But what if it’s not the right help?

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A couple of times lately I have seen in action just the right piece show up for friends that they needed, but I have also seen in my life the opposite, where the wrong help creates more confusion.

I remember graduating from the Grad School program and having pretty much having vague help finding a job. I was told my skills and resume were fabulous and would have no problem finding something, but where/how wasn’t clear, except to look at a list of job search places to tackle. When what you do is so out of the box it is difficult to have a clear map. I always joke about wishing I was an accountant because the path is so clearcut. I’d go to school for a clear program, find jobs in accountant offices, and DONE. Vague help is the worst because it doesn’t provide you with specific steps. It’s almost like giving you directions to a house by saying, “Yeah, it’s somewhere over there.” Where? To the right of there or the left of there?

I have seen in others what happens when they have the wrong help. Trying to create something they bring in the wrong person who can’t really solve their particular problem and they make a bigger mess.

So what is the right help? First, I need to get very clear what is needed. That isn’t always easy. Often you are so overloaded that there are too many pieces floating around your head. It’s hard to pinpoint what the problem is or what you are needing. You know you need help with being healthy, but does that look like going on a diet? Starting a workout program? Going to do a doctor? What is the specific issue? I think I run into having too broad a problem. You can relate? And then overwhelm happens because there’s too much to tackle at once, and as a sensitive, I am already overloaded with stimuli and information ALL THE TIME.

So I write down very specifically what the issue is. The cooler was easy. It’s concrete. I know when the cooler turns on I sneeze, so that thing must be dirty. I then need to find someone who can clean out a dirty cooler. But what about more complicated questions like, how do I bring in more money? Or how do I bring in more peace to the household? Etc. etc. Those questions are trickier.

I am learning…

Sometimes having the right help is about lightening the load. You can’t do it all. (My Capricorn inner self just cringed.) You can’t be everything to everybody, you need to bring in assistance. Find what solves that particular problem– be very specific, research, ask around, and zero in on that one thing at one time to avoid overwhelm.

Until next time,