Understanding Empathy and Letting Go

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From FIELD OF DREAMS: “Ease his pain.”

Like many of you, I wake up in the morning, fresh from dreaming, bringing back some kind of message or understanding. The lesson downloaded into my brain this morning was about empathy.

What is empathy anyway? Most of us would define it as feeling what another person is feeling, relating, and being able to step into their shoes. You feel the sadness and relate when someone posts on Facebook about saying goodbye the last time to their beloved dog. Your heart hurts for them. You feel when your friend is sick and want to make her better. You watch the devastation on television of those who have lost their homes in a tornado and your gut aches for what they are going through.

There is different levels of empathy–how much it is turned on. When I was in high school, I remember feeling so much pain in middle school that I learned feeling was a not a safe thing. I shut that part of me off. I stayed on the surface. It wasn’t gone; it came out in stomach aches.

There are folks who are very extroverted who only feel their own space and don’t always feel the space of others. They have empathy, it’s in there, they are just more focused inward.

There are folks who read this blog who are Empaths. We feel everything. The empathy button is on so strong it can be overwhelming and debilitating. We feel times a hundred. That’s why sometimes it shuts off and we numb over or we couldn’t function.

There are many closet sensitives out there who appear un-feeling who are really our fellow brethren who felt way too much at some time and were seriously hurt, and so they can’t feel anymore. It isn’t safe to.

Then there are folks out there who have no empathy. They came in for special purposes, some of them, and perhaps, feelings would get in the way of that mission. They don’t feel when you are hurt. They don’t see how their actions affect others. They don’t hurt when others hurt because they don’t know how. The parts of the brain that feels that is broken. They live a different life. Do we have empathy for them? Maybe we can just understand what’s missing and see them differently.

I watch empathy in my dogs. If I am crying, they can feel my sadness, and will rush over and try to comfort me. It goes beyond instinct.

In my life right now, I am being asked to live at a deeper level of empathy, to put my feelings aside, for what is best for another. My little family lost a member the other day. Bun-Bun, my parakeet of almost nine years died suddenly. Before she died she had communicated very strongly that she missed Prosperity who had crossed over in September. She loved us but her body was starting to slow down and her heart ached for her companion. I’m being asked to look beyond my selfishness of wanting her to be here–to hear her beautiful little song-y chit chat throughout my day and having her companionship–and to honor her wishes. In this situation, I need to step into her spirit feet, feel her happiness and joy now of being reunited, and honor what she wanted and what is best for her first. It’s here where my empathy is a gift I can give her.



  1. Enjoyed your post. I have a lot of empathy. I cry about sad tv shows, cartoons, animals tear me up, but animals bring me more joy sometimes than humans. Just thought I was over emotional.

  2. Oh Ronni, you are speaking to my heart! There were times that I had to shut off my empathy button just in order to function and then there have been times I should have shut it off and didn’t and became seriously ill from it. I am finally at a time in my life where I am able to see it coming before it hits me like a rock slide (most of the time). My “gift” also runs into the other world as well which makes it even more important for me to know how to control the incoming data. I have the greatest empathy for all those empaths out there who struggle with this gift. We live in an age that does not have an easy place for us. In the past one could go into a religious order or become a hermit in some form or other and thus have a bit more control over ones dealings with others.

    It is the absolute hardest to live a so called normal modern lifestyle and be an empath at the same time but many of us have found a way to do that. The best way to handle this gift is to send out prayers or white light or positive thoughts, etc. or whatever your belief system dictates, whenever we encounter those feelings for another. I believe that is our purpose here. I believe every empath has been given the ability to make changes and to comfort the afflicted with our spirit’s abilities to reach out. Just as it is easy for others thoughts and feelings to come to us, we need to realize that it is just as easy for OUR thoughts and feelings to be sent out to others. In that way we can make positive changes in others lives. So on that note I am sending you some peace and light, Ronni, in your time of need. Everyone that passes to the other side has the potential to become a new spirit guide. May your little bird friend be that for you. Faerie Blessings.

  3. Awhhh..Ronni..such a beautiful heartwarming article. Thank you as I needed to see your words. Again, so sorry about Bun-Bun but she is now with Prosperity. Much love and healing with a warm hug coming your way hun…<3

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