As I headed to nearby Prescott to have a last visit with one of my closest friends before she moved, I felt a growing uneasiness. Yes, I had just made a long trip to Phoenix which was a little nerve-wracking and so I had leftover nerves, and yes, I was feeling very emotional as my car moved in the direction out of town.
I don’t like climbing hills or racing down them. When I am ungrounded, it gives me the feeling of being out of control. Come to think of it, I don’t like that feeling when I’m very grounded. There’s a part of the highway that curves upwards and although there is a guardrail, it does give you the sensation of flying through the air very close to the edge. (A little of what many of us are now feeling in our lives.)
As I accelerated up the hill and prayed I wouldn’t have to pass any huge trucks and have to change into the left lane next to the abyss, I began to feel growing panic; almost dissociative panic.
“Breathe, Ronni, Breathe, ” I told myself. “Feel your legs connected to the ground.”
I concluded that it was just all the emotions welling up inside me from my friend moving, and the high emotions of the past few weeks.
We had a lovely visit and I told my friend about the driving experience and then we talked about other pressing matters, like her move.
Heading back after a pitstop at the craft store (shopping therapy), I zoomed down the roads with very little traffic, which was unusual. I turned on the radio to hear one of my favorite old songs belting “You know you got to slow down, you’ve been working too hard and that’s a fact.”
I sang along until…there was huge line of traffic down the steep part of the road that bends scary to the left. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Oh great! That’s just mean!
We were all inching along in single file. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about driving down the hill too fast and feeling out of control. It was time to learn how to use my lower driving gears.
We all rubbernecked as the emergency workers guided us around a mangled, black and white car. Hopefully, the driver was alive and only scraped up, I thought.
A little pass the car and the road was clear and I wasn’t that far from home. I could calm down now. And then it hit me. That was the area I felt those feelings. Before it happened. Possibly because I was in great fear I register the event about to happen or the conditions building to happen.
Coincidence? Premonition? Empathic hit? What do you think?