What we are all dealing with now, whether some aware or not, is our core beliefs (that old childhood poo) to heal and clear. What that means is we are all going to be pushing each other’s buttons. This can look like:
— Why did you say THAT? You insensitive clod.
— Why do I always have stomach aches, or headaches and colds? Or fill in the blank.
— Why does this pattern always happen to me, and here it is happening again and in a huge way!
The good news is when things are really at the head of clearing and healing, it looks and feels the worse. If you can just ride that rollercoaster one last time, it will heal when those big insights start to spill out to understanding.
I believe strongly that healing is not going around it, avoiding it, or being fake spiritual about it. I have found in my own life, you just can’t rush to compassion and forgiveness. Or healing. There’s a great deal of anger, hurt, and grief– sometime a lot of ugly– first you need to clear out. Just like in grief, you can’t rush to acceptance and just move on. You need that moment of screaming at God. Real healing comes from understanding and feeling all the feelings, even the scary and ugly ones.
Repression just hurts…usually physically.
We are helping each other now when we push those buttons. Yes, you’re pissed at your friend for saying that one insane comment out of nowhere, but it did bring up a puzzle piece for that core issue to heal. I am not excusing meanness though. Even if you have compassion and understanding for what someone is going through, and they are hurting, it’s no excuse for them to dump or project their crap on you and be out and out mean. As sensitive people, we often “carry” that stuff, or agree to be the scapegoat. (That was my role in childhood. No more, thank you very much.) That is not helping anyone in anyway to heal anything.
So as you ride this rollercoaster to true, deep healing, how do you survive everyone walking around acting crazy and having their buttons pushed left and right? (I have this funny image in my head from the movie Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds where the stars are trying to run from one building to another without a ton of birds pecking out their heads.)
I asked for guidance for a tool and got a clear answer. Boundaries. Like, not allowing meanness, or stepping aside when someone is flipping out. Try not to take things personally either. I’m really good at that, like most empaths. Communication is key here.We can say what we want in or out.* We can be very clear if we aren’t comfortable and what we can’t talk about, by saying it in a gentle way. I always think that those who can hear your boundaries right now, are safe and move towards. Those who can’t, in this moment, are not safe, and you need to move away from, until they are able to hear you, if that is possible.* Being able to be heard is extremely important and many of us had childhoods when that didn’t happen, or worse, when we did say something, we were yelled at or attacked, even shamed for what we said. That’s why being heard now, as adults, is very important, indeed.
Cool thing happened to me with validation on this tool. I heard the word “Boundaries” in meditation for a few days. When I woke up to check my mail, I noticed my Illustration Friday’s theme was Boundaries. Each week Illustration Friday has an artistic prompt theme to create by. At that site, you can suggest themes. There is usually a long backlog of having your theme picked. I have tried my hand at suggesting themes a few times. Well, this week’s theme was suggested by….me! There was even a link to my old design blog alongside the new blog, which tells me I suggested that theme a long time ago. Coincidence? We know better.
*I cover this in my Care of the Sensitive class and my eBook, Help! I’m Sensitive available for purchase here at the site.