When my old computer died I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye. I dropped it off hoping that it would be healed. Next thing I was told my files were retrievable, but the computer had had it. Then I got this computer. We are starting to bond and I am getting used to the hair trigger keys that make all kinds of buttons appear all over the screen.
It was the same way with my cell phone. I made a giant leap forward from a cheaper, simple model with manual keys to touch screen-everything. That phone likes to talk to itself in my purse sometimes (It has voice recognition). Change can be tough to deal with.
We are moving forward, most of us, supposedly improving and upscaling. It’s like a fast current that we can’t avoid but have to jump on to. I always fear stagnation but there is little logic to that when we are always learning something new, especially spiritually which creates big leaps in perception and therefore, experiences.
So, how do you deal with the change and the big transitions? Everyone I know is experiencing this at this time. As per my usual blog style, I’ve compiled a list of what I have discovered.
What to do when you are in transition.
- Fight it. Stay tucked away at home hardly ever leaving. Even better, hide under the bed. Ha ha! Change won’t find you here! You’ve outsmarted change! I have this image from one of my favorite movies, The Triplets of Belleville. The funky house that the main characters live in doesn’t change but we are shown the passage of time by buildings and highways being built around it. Unfortunately, cocoons are lovely but eventually the butterfly needs to emerge or risk getting dried up and brittle.
- Instability is hardest for earth signs like myself. We love order. Throw the order off and we feel chaotic. Focus on creating some kind of stability, whether a steady schedule or daily rituals. Knowing every morning you can stop at your neighborhood cafe where everyone knows your name helps create some kind of order. My church helps me with that, knowing every Sunday I can check in and receive sustenance and community.
- Go the opposite direction and throw all caution to the wind (what does that expression mean anyway?) and run away to Europe to find yourself. Think Eat Pray Love. I want to do this but I have a personality that conflicts with this jump-in- the-water kind of experience, but you may like it. The trip may change your world around.
- My one friend suggested buying a poster board and filling it up with new goals. Brainstorming is a great way to open doors you may not have considered. I have had a tough time with this project as my life didn’t turn out at all like I thought it would, and I am a little afraid of what more is in store if it’s anything like what I’ve been through! So I would suggest, if you are like me, baby steps for your planning sessions. Just focus on the next little ideas that may be coming to the surface and nudging at you. Like building a new foundation you are given the next few bricks, not a whole wall all at once. (I know, we want the whole wall and even the building plan drawn out for us so we know where we are going.)
- Avoid the past. This is a big tip to follow when you are in transitions. When I get pulled into the past, I am miserable and stuck back there spinning my wheels. But that isn’t my reality now. When I do this I am really experiencing a form of PTSD. I have to remind myself those were yesterday’s lessons, not today. Like school, I don’t have to repeat ninth grade if I graduated! It’s a hard habit to break when your future isn’t coming in fast enough and you need to hold on to something, but it isn’t real. It’s a faulty coping tool that is similar to sitting under the bed.
- Practice patience. I have very little of that, unfortunately. If this is one of your virtues, rejoice, and please share your tips on how to have it with the rest of us. I think I missed that class in school.
- Focus on the sensual. This is big guidance I’ve been receiving. Listening to beautiful music, feeling the softness of my dog-ters, looking at colors, tasting great food, I am in the joyful moment. I am rebuilding my hope and faith with each small treat. Enjoying being in that space, everything is okay in my world and nothing can hurt me. It’s like I am closest to God then.
So, there isn’t a quick fix like we would like when we are in transition. Sitting under the bed has it’s time and place, but eventually we do need to come out from under at least to eat. Hopefully, following some of these tips will help you emerge a little stronger from your cocoon, and you will move more courageously into the next chapter of your life.