I had a fear attack yesterday.
It felt a little like eating a whole bag of microwave buttered popcorn in one sitting. When you are done eating, you look around you, butter on your hands, missed popcorn pieces on the floor, and you say, “What happened and what did I do?”
With the tiniest fear that came out, I grabbed for more fears throughout my memories. I reached more for the negativity. Called it. Pulled it in. Like that bag of popcorn, I went out of my way to attract more fears until I ate the whole bag.
This is similar to feeling discouraged, so you grab the phone and call the one relative who will discourage you more.
You can really mess with your head at this time and confuse your psychic ability with truth.
I’ve done this with the health of my dogs. Sarah limps a little and there you have it, it’s cancer. Then I think about when Emily died and her symptoms. By the time I’m done with this rollercoaster ride I even must have cancer.
Maybe it’s inherited from my jewish grandmother who believed that if you feared it, you could prepare for it. Rather than be prepared, I think she lived in the fear state most her life.
I need to see what the original trigger was. I had some success which scared me. With that success, I grabbed for the past, a past I knew that was already done and couldn’t hurt me, so I thought. It was better than the unknown. I could nest in my fears, safe to not move forward. But that’s as crazy as my Nanny’s distorted belief.
What fear are you grabbing onto? What feelings are you avoiding? Where’s the truth in the fear?