I have a recurring anxiety dream. It usually looks like me on stage and expecting to perform without knowing the lines and having the script. I have a long history of enjoying being on the stage performing, so it only makes sense my mind would use this metaphor image to get the anxiety message across. Being unprepared is a common lament for sensitive people. I read somewhere that introverts need plenty of preparation and time before they “perform” out in the world.
Many of my friends and family are finding themselves thrown into the world without the benefit of a script or map. Lives are turned upside down, people are dying and leaving the planet, and foundations are crumbling. What was up is down, and vice versa.
My Guides had given me the message that the world has lost its shield while at the same time, we are all evolving and changing at such a fast rate and the foundations are breaking down, it’s amazing we all don’t have vertigo!
So, what if the rules are all changing?
I remember long ago how I used to work. Set goals, create a vision, and then climb that mountain. I’d “make” it happen. Well, I thought I did. I usually fell short when I did this method. There was usually a lot of headaches and a great deal of pushing. Now that things are changing so fast, we are forced to live moment to moment.
The other day I had the most success simply following my inner guidance…you guessed it, moment to moment. I found myself among friends, giving readings in a situation I had no idea I would be doing, creating real positive change for the folks in front of me. Now, I didn’t blindly jump into this. That morning I said some prayers asking for community, for folks I could help so I could use my gifts, and to feel that deep appreciation. The day was a win-win and an immediate answer to a prayer. I just listened after asking, and then did the actions I felt really pulled to do. Miraculously, there was no pushing, just a great deal of trust to just jump onto the stage.
It’s hard to change. It’s hard to switch a dynamic of how you do things. It feels a bit like always writing with my right hand, and now I need to use my left. I feel awkward and fumbly. I’ll probably resort to using my right hand when I feel most uncomfortable, my handwriting may even change, but hopefully, I will get used to the new way of doing things.
Next time: What the wrong direction feels like.