Yes, I think nasty people have a purpose. And maybe they weren’t always nasty. They became nasty. Life handed them a series of events that hurt or dismayed. I understand that. But when life throws me several nasty people at once, I have to stop and think what the message is.
I am historically one who carries everyone else’s stuff. A very bad habit for an empath. Sensitive folk tend to feel responsible for what they feel. This has been changing, shifting. So, the Universe and Dog has sent me folks in the past week who are angry and want to dump their stuff onto someone else to feel better. I am being tested. Did I really learn? Really shift?
Our daughter recognized this fine ability I have of carrying early on and graciously took advantage of this “gift.” Even when I wasn’t with her in the room, somehow it was my fault for her misdeeds. On a recent trip to her grandparents and relatives, she managed to encourage them to dump onto myself and my husband with very unfair and untrue comments. Nasty people #1
Enter disgruntled student with unkind words that didn’t help, improve, or grow my school. Ouch! Her words felt more like a bad breakup: “I wish you were something else: Prettier. Smarter. I kept hoping you would change.” Nasty people #2
And finally, the owner from the small town service station of Mayer that fixed our car was super nasty, sexist, rude, and overall disrespectful while arranging payment plans. I am grateful we could make an arrangement, but not how it was made. Nasty people #3
Has the world lost their communication skills? Do I still look like an open wastebasket? Just because I feel it does not mean I have to fix it.
I am learning the true gift of duck energy. Feel it, recognize it as someone else’s stuff, and in some cases–bad manners–and then refuse to take it on. Walk away. Stand up for yourself. Say something, but don’t carry it. Some folks only feel better if they have someone to dump it all on, but you don’t have to be that person. We are doing them a disservice. They need to process and deal with their own stuff, just like we try to. We do this to grow and be better people. Do we really want to take away their lessons to learn? This would be like doing someone else’s homework for them. Very uncool.
It did hurt when each nasty person dumped on me. I must admit it. I’ve always been the type that was appalled when someone was mean to me on purpose. I guess that is the price to pay by being so sensitive. But maybe I need to practice acceptance. Some folks won’t change. They may always be nasty in some way or another. Their lives will reflect that. You don’t have to be empathic to feel how miserable they truly must be inside. So, if I can move to a place of compassion I’ve really progressed as a soul, I suppose. But I do need to give that compassion to myself and realize I never deserve that kind of treatment, from anyone, even if I do know their reason for distress. In the words of the wonderful group Monty Python, I can “run away, run away!”