After being very down for two days I realized that the problem was I wasn’t letting go of what wasn’t working! That stuff was the old stuff vibrating at a different place than where I was at! Of course! So when I would revisit the old stuff, I felt awful.
Yesterday my husband brought home my paintings from a gallery I had them out for a year. They hadn’t sold one painting and yet there was my energy hanging on the walls, ignored. For a long time I took it personally, but the truth was none of the paintings in their gallery were selling because of the local clientele and the local economy. The gallery was switching to selling to gift store items to survive. Still, when I saw those paintings in my home again, my heart sank. I felt like a failure, not good enough, all the old sh*t. But, what if my art was not meant to be there? And what if having my art in that gallery, in the wrong place, was preventing me from moving on to where I most belonged? This was the case if I looked at that art and I was feeling regret and loss. I didn’t need to be in that place anymore.
On another note, I had the most beautiful dream the other night. I felt the wings of my angel wrap around me and enfold me with such love and comfort. It was a very personal encounter with my angel. Normally, I just hear him in soft whispers through the day. I was in such awe when I woke.