I am learning…
December 21, 2007 by ronnifairy
I am learning how not to carry. I am seeing I am the typical “elm” flower essence candidate–I want to rescue, fix, and make better. Since I was a child, I’d take on problems not my own, including taking blame for what I didn’t do, just to make harmony in the environment. What I am learning is sometimes we interfere with others’ lessons when we do this.
I see this often with my daughter. She will continue the same pattern to get her needs met that isn’t the most healthiest of patterns. I’ve watched how doing this has given her what she needs, but she never learns another way. It’s frustrating for me when I try to teach her another way and she doesn’t want to try it. Why should she? Where’s the pay-off? So, I am still learning. I never thought this would be such a hard lesson to learn–to step back. I find it hardest when I am affecting so strongly by someone else’s choices. Then what do you do? But, this is the time for the lightworkers in the world to clear out old stuff and heal, and the big patterns and stuff is rearing its head. This is a biggie for me.
When I meditated, I was told that I needed to work with Duck Energy. Float with the waters, I suppose. A new skill to learn. Once I learn it, I will be able to pass it on to others.
Duck energy… I’m also reminded of the adage about letting things roll off you like water off a duck’s back.
Here are some more thoughts about duck energy, “ducks prefer being in places where they are comfortable and will return to those places. They have a strong sense of community and are social. Duck reminds us that we sometimes need to return to the parts of ourselves that need to feel safe and comfortable. Duck also teaches us to be graceful when handling our emotions and to drink sustenance from the waters of life.” From: http://www.animaltotem.com/duck.html
“Affectionate and community oriented duck medicine people love and are loved deeply. They often feel a great need to be of service and make excellent healers. Because the coloring of ones personal duck is symbolic, healing with color can be beneficial. Ducks are graceful as they glide through the water reminding us to be gentle with ourselves as we heal, learn and grow into our perfected self.” From: http://www.sayahda.com/cyc2.html
This post is also personal for me because I’ve been working on a similar issue with my husband, trying to get him to change some patterns that I know are not serving him. Like you, “I want to rescue, fix, and make better.” And I have to keep reminding myself that it’s not mine to fix. This doesn’t prevent me from wanting to shake him, though! LOL! Maybe I need duck energy too.
Thanks!
Sarah
Sarah, fabulous post comment! Wonderful and such a gift to post duck energy definitions. Thank you. I like the thought of duck energy=let things roll off your back. Not easy. Maybe for healers this is one lesson that is a biggie–to do as you say, remind ourselves it’s not ours to fix. So hard sometimes. I will work with duck energy and check out those links.
I certainly recognize the pattern of wanting to “fix it” for other people, but have come to recognize that the only person who can fix something is that person, themselves.
Although we can’t do it with family, part of the path sometimes lies in learning our patterns in the people we choose… the problem isn’t always the compulsion to help, but the compulsion to choose people we perceive NEED help. As one of my Teachers once asked me: “Who would you be, if you weren’t constantly busy nursing other people’s broken wings?”
Thanks denmarkguy. I appreciate your comments. My issue is how we handle family members’ stuff when their stuff and choices greatly affect your own world. Still grappling…